Stanford Park Glory Hole - Chapter 5

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I stared at my brother Andy's phone, reading the text chain, a sense of shock building within me. After the first text, declaring that the sender 'knew his secret' and including a picture of Andy walking out of the men's room at Stanford Park, my brother had tried to bluff.

"Who is this? Why did you take my picture in the park, creeper?"

"U no what u were doing in there cocksucker"

"Fuck off! I don't know what you're talking about."

"Does Abe no his big bro slurps up strange mens knobs and eats their jizz in public restrooms?"

Andy hadn't responded to that text. Another had followed half an hour later.

"I have other pics with ur mouth stuffed full of pole should I send them directly to Abe or post them online, maybe to your school chat?"

Another long gap followed, until Andy responded.

"What do you want?"

"Meet me in the school parking lot in an hour"

"I'll be there."

That had been sent just before dinner. The last text was the one that came through a moment ago: "If ur not here in 15 I will make sure every1 knows starting with Abe"

I locked Andy's phone and put it back on the counter next to his keys. It was a good thing that my brother still used the year he was born as his passcode. I'd discovered this back when I was 12 when I'd gone through a snooping phase I wasn't proud of now.

I didn't know what to do. I was pretty sure the sender was bluffing about having other pictures. The one of Andy leaving the men's room was from today, Andy was still in the same clothes. There was no way anyone had taken pictures inside the bathroom today, so it followed that the guy was lying about that.

I couldn't tell Andy, this, though. Not only would he know I'd looked in his phone, he'd also want to know how I could be so sure that the person couldn't have taken some incriminating pictures over the top of the stall. I couldn't let him know that I'd been the one in the stall; that we'd sucked each other off the day before and he'd sucked off my buddy Zeke that afternoon while I jerked him under the stall.

How could I let him go off to face who knows what, though, without doing something about it? The asshole obviously knew us, and there was only one person we knew who was in Stanford Park today to take that picture as Andy left, one person who knew for a fact that someone had been sucking cock in the restroom because he'd had his own sucked: Benner. It had to be Chris.

Andy walked back into the kitchen and grabbed his phone and keys. I opened my mouth, and then closed it again, wanting to help but knowing that if I did, I'd not only expose myself, but I'd blow up whatever relationship I had with my brother forever. Yesterday, I might not have cared much about that, but knowing that Andy wasn't that different from me had changed everything.

Andy walked out. I heard his car start and pull away. "Mom, I'm running over to Zeke's house!" I yelled.

"Is the kitchen clean?" my mother called out.

"Yeah!"

"Okay. Don't be out late, Abe."

"I won't!"

I closed the door and ran for my bike. The school was a lot closer than Stanford Park, and I rode like hell to get there quickly. I saw Andy's car in the parking lot, but even from a distance I could tell it was empty. Where would they be? I ditched my bike and ran back toward the football field, the only outdoor place I could think of. I slowed down as I approached, my heart pounding as I tried to listen for voices.

Pulling my phone out, I called Benner's phone, sure I'd hear it ring somewhere nearby. Instead, I heard Benner answer. "McCall, it's date night. What do you need?" In the background, I heard Naomi's voice "Hi Abe!"

"Sorry, we'll talk later," I said quietly, and then hung up. Chris was with Naomi, so there was no way it was him. It made no sense. Zeke was in the stall with me when Andy walked out and if it wasn't Benner lying in wait to take a picture of the person he thought had been sucking his cock, who else...

Markley? He'd come into the bathroom with Benner. Could the person who started all of this with his story at lunch be the one who'd taken the picture?

I called Bill's phone. It went right to voicemail. Sighing, I called Andy's phone, the only option I had left. The sound of his ringtone reached my ears, coming from somewhere in the bleachers. It cut off quickly as my brother rejected my call, but at least I knew where he was.

I moved quietly, still not sure what the hell I was going to do. I slipped under the bleachers, knowing that there was no way I could climb them without giving away my presence. As I approached the far end, where I'd heard Andy's phone, I heard the unmistakable sounds of someone sucking cock.

Through the gaps in the bleachers, I saw the back of a pair of legs, someone sitting on one of the lower bleachers. There was just enough illumination from a nearby security light that I could make out someone on their knees between those legs.

I was too late. Amid the sounds of slurping, I heard a soft laugh, and then a voice. "Yeah, you like that?"

Other than the continued sound of sucking, there was no response. Then the voice came again. "C'mon, Andy, look at the camera while you blow me."

Oh, fuck! I was sure there'd been no real pictures of Andy sucking cock before, but now there was no doubt. My heart sank, but at the same time I noticed that the voice didn't sound familiar at all.

"C'mon, Andy. Do what I say, or I'll have to send this video to your little bro."

A video, even worse! Andy must have complied because I heard the laugh again. "Now, tell the camera what you are, but don't stop sucking me."

I heard the muffled sound of my brother trying to speaking around the dick in his mouth. "I'm a cocksucker." Loud laughter followed.

Fuck. This was making me mad, but it was also turning me on at the same time. What the hell was wrong with me? My brother was being humiliated but it was like my dick had a mind of its own. I still couldn't quite believe that this was Andy, my brother, who was up there sucking cock.

"Dude, is that necessary?" a familiar voice said. There were two of them? I looked and couldn't see where the second guy was, but the voice sounded like Bill.

"Oh, yeah, it definitely is. I know this guy, he can't get enough. He's a Stanford Park regular, aren't you Andy? I live right across the street, I've seen you coming and going plenty. Answer me!"

"Yes," Andy spoke around the cock in his mouth again.

"Okay, Andy boy, get ready to swallow that load. Here it comes," I heard a telltale groan. The sucking sounds continued for another minute or so, and then stopped.

"Okay, that's enough," the second voice said. I saw a pair of feet appear from the shadows. I had no doubt now that it was Bill and that his cousin, Ryan, had just cum in my brother's mouth.

"We're just getting started. Your turn, man," Ryan's legs stood up and moved aside, giving me a clearer picture of Andy kneeling just above me on platform at the bottom of the bleachers.

"I don't know, Ryan. I'm not gay," Markley said.

"I'm not either! But we've got a cocksucker on demand, dude. Here, blaze up while he sucks you, it'll be sweet."

"You don't have to keep the pictures or the video, all right? I'll suck you both off whenever you want. I promise. I like sucking cock. You don't need to threaten to expose me."

"It's more fun this way, though. If you don't do what we say, when we say, Abe will find that his brother is..." there was a pause, and then I heard the sound of Andy's strained voice again, saying he was a cocksucker around the dick in his mouth, this time played on video.

"Fuck you. What if I just kick your scrawny little asses right now and take your damn phone?"

"I've already backed everything up to the cloud, so it won't do you any good."

"I really fucking hate you," Andy sounded ready to kill.

"Enough talk, Andy. It's Bill's turn," Ryan said. "Let him see what he missed out on the other day."

It was quiet for a few moments, and then I heard the sounds of my brother sucking cock again.

"Oh... wow..." Bill breathed. The smell of pot reached my nostrils, so I knew my friend had taken his cousin's advice and was smoking a joint while Andy sucked him.

"That's amazing," Bill sounded completely blissed out. Having experienced Andy's skills, I knew exactly what he was going through.

My dick was rock hard from happening just a few feet above my head, but at the same time I wanted to stop them from doing this to my brother. I just didn't know how.

Bill didn't last very long. I didn't time things, but it seemed to no more than a few minutes before I heard him grunt out the words "I'm cumming!"

A minute passed, and then Ryan spoke again.

"Good job, cocksucker! Now, when one of us calls you, you answer. If you ever say no to anything we tell you to do, you know what happens," Ryan said.

"I'm taking off, I'll call you tomorrow morning," this must have been directed to Bill. I heard footsteps going down the stairs and off the bleachers. Above my head, all was quiet for a few minutes, but I knew Andy and Bill were still there. Finally, my friend spoke.

"Sorry, Andy." Bill's words sounded genuine. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"What the fuck, Bill?"

"Benner and I were in the park today, and Benner came out of the bathroom and said a fag tried to suck him. That happened to me the other day, too, and I'd told the guys all about it. When Ryan came over to join us, Benner filled him in. I didn't know Ryan was watching the door after that, or that he took your picture when you walked out. He showed me after Benner left, and I just blurted out 'That's Andy!' and it went from there."

"Well, thanks a fuckin' lot, Bill."

"Listen, I'll get his phone and delete everything, okay? I'm sorry."

"It won't do any good if its all in the cloud. I'm screwed, I'll have to be his bitch now."

"I'm sorry! I'll try to get him to delete everything."

"I won't hold my breath. If Abe hears about this-"

"I won't say anything. It- it was really good, Andy. Thanks for that. It was the first time I ever got a blowjob."

I swallowed a laugh. Markley had sworn up and down last year that he'd gotten a blowjob from Linda Adams on a field trip to a state forest for our Earth science class.

"I figured you were just as much of a virgin as Abetard," Andy laughed.

"So... do you really suck dick at the park? I mean, was it you the other day when I was there?"

"Shit, Markley, I don't know! It's anonymous. If it was yesterday or today, it could have been. Before that, I hadn't been for a week or so."

"Have you been.. uh.. doing that long?" Bill asked. I could have kissed him for asking that question.

"What, are you writing a fucking book? Jesus," Andy snapped.

"Sorry, just curious. I mean, you must really like sucking dick, right? And you're really good at it."

Andy's voice softened. "Thanks. Yeah, I do, okay? I like dick. I had a good friend, we started messing around together when we were, like, twelve. Then about two years ago, he moved away and I was going crazy. I found out about the park about a month after he left, so it's my go to now."

Andy and Wyatt?! Wow. That was news to me. I mean, they had always spent a lot of time closed up in Andy's room together, and Wyatt stayed over a lot, but I always assumed they were just gaming. They always made it clear I wasn't welcome to join them, so I'd stopped trying long before Wyatt moved away.

"I better go," Andy said. I saw him stand up.

"Andy... if you want.... I mean, I am straight, but..."

Andy laughed. "Your cousin will probably make me suck you off again anyway."

"No! I won't let him do that again. I'm really sorry about tonight. But if you want to, if it's just you and me... I'm cool with that."

"We'll see, Markley. I gotta go."

"Okay, see you later, Andy."

My brother walked off. I sat there, lost in thought about everything I'd just heard while Markley finished smoking his joint on the bleachers above me.

After a few minutes, I moved silently back the way I came, out from under the bleachers and out to the now empty parking lot, where I'd abandoned my bike.

I rode home, feeling the potent mixture of horniness over what I'd heard and guilt that I hadn't done something to stop it.

I put my bike away and headed inside. After I let my parents know I was back, I trudged up the stairs and went into my room. I stopped short at the sight of Andy, sitting in my desk chair.

"Why are you in my room?"

Andy just stared at me in silence and then nodded toward the door. "Close it."

I followed his direction without thinking and then leaned against the closed door, feeling nervous.

"Someone opened my texts, Abe. The last one was marked read before I even saw it."

"What are you talking about?" my voice sounded strange to my ears.

"You read them while I was talking to Mom, didn't you?"

"No!"

"You saw where I was going, and you followed me. I saw your bike there when I was leaving, Abe. You didn't even bother to hide it. And you called me while I was... you called. Why?"

I swallowed hard and went to sit on my bed. "I saw the text. I wanted to help you."

"Why did you call, Abe?"

"I... I was trying to find out where you were. Your car was empty."

"Did you find me?"

I looked up, meeting my brother's eyes. "Yes."

Andy closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. "Where were you?"

I stared at him and he opened his eyes. I dropped mine to the floor. "Under the bleachers."

"Fuck! Were you there for all of it?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry! I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what to do."

"I can't deal with this!" Andy jumped up and headed for the door.

"I'm gay too!" I blurted out. Andy stopped in his tracks and looked back at me.

"What?"

"I'm gay, too."

Andy came back and sat down, staring at me. "You're gay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? I mean, you're a virgin-"

"I am not!"

Andy snorted. "What sex have you ever had?"

I blushed and kept my mouth closed. Andy was looking at me skeptically and then his face changed. "Hang on. Bill said he told you guys about the glory hole this week. Did you... have you been..."

I couldn't meet his eye but he could read the answer on my face.

"When were you there, Abe?"

I didn't respond, but my heart was pounding.

"Abe, did you go there today or yesterday? Tell me!" Andy grabbed my shoulder and shook me.

"Yes!" I blurted out.

"Did.... did you do anything?"

"Yesterday I sucked off a jogger. Then today, there was this guy who stuck his ass under the stall and I fucked him," I said quietly. I could edit the truth to leave Andy and Zeke out of it.

"Jesus, Abetard!" Andy looked shocked, but also relived. Neither of those experiences had involved him, obviously.

We were quiet for a bit and then Andy laughed softly. "So, we're both total fags. Mom and Dad will be fuckin' thrilled. Listen, you've got to be careful. Look at what happened to me tonight. It's too risky. You need to stay away from the park."

"Are you going to?" I challenged him.

"I don't know, Abe, but that's another reason for you to stay the fuck away. If we both start going there, sooner or later the dick on the other end of the hole is going to belong to your brother! I don't want to take that risk, do you?"

Fuck yes, I did. Call me sick, but I wanted Andy's mouth, and his cock, again. "Maybe we can just... make a schedule? I don't think I can stop going now that I know about it," I smiled.

Andy laughed. "You're more like me than I ever would have guessed, Abetard. Jesus, what a fuckin' night. I need to process all of this. Good night."

"Night, Andy."

My brother walked out and closed the door behind him. I fell back on the bed, my head spinning. It hadn't even been 36 hours since I found out about the Stanford Park glory hole, and it had already changed my entire life.

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斯坦福公园的寻欢洞 - 第五章

作者：布兰登·沃尔登 发布于：2023 年 5 月 8 日 字数：3127 来源：https://new.nifty.org/stories/stanford-park-glory-hole-97186/5

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我盯着我哥安迪的手机，读着短信链，一股震惊的感觉在我心中累积。第一条短信宣称发信人“知道他的秘密”，并附上了一张安迪从斯坦福公园男厕所走出来的照片，在那之后，我哥试图虚张声势。

“你是谁？你为什么在公园拍我的照片，偷窥狂？”

“你清楚你在里面干什么 吃鸡巴的”

“滚蛋！我不知道你在说什么。”

“阿贝知不知道他大哥在公共厕所里舔陌生男人的屌 吃他们的精液？”

安迪没有回复那条短信。半小时后，另一条短信跟了过来。

“我还有别的照片 你嘴里塞满了棍子 我是直接发给阿贝呢 还是发到网上 也许是你们学校群里？”

又隔了很长一段沉默，安迪才回复。

“你想怎样？”

“一小时后在学校停车场见我”

“我会去的。”

那条是在晚饭前发出的。最后一条短信是刚才进来的：“如果你 15 分钟内不到 我会确保每个人都知道 从阿贝开始”

我锁上安迪的手机，把它放回他钥匙旁边的料理台上。好在我哥还在用他出生的年份当密码。我 12 岁翻他东西那阵子就发现了，那段偷窥史我现在可不怎么引以为豪。

我不知道该怎么办。我很确定发信人说有别的照片是在唬人。那张安迪离开厕所的照片是今天拍的，安迪还穿着同样的衣服。今天绝不可能有人在厕所里面拍照，所以那家伙显然是在说谎。

但我不能告诉安迪这些。不说他知道我偷看他手机了，他还想知道我怎么如此肯定对方不可能在隔间上方拍到什么有罪的照片。我不能让他知道隔间里的人是我；我们前一天就互相口过了，而我下午还和齐克一起，在齐克享受他的口交时，我蹲在隔板下给他打飞机。

可我又怎么能眼睁睁看着他去面对鬼知道什么事，却什么都不做呢？那混球显然认识我们，而今天在斯坦福公园能拍下安迪离开的照片、并且明确知道男厕所里有人在吃鸡巴的人只有一个，因为他自己就被吃了：本纳。肯定是克里斯。

安迪走回厨房，抓起手机和钥匙。我张了张嘴，又闭上了。我想帮忙，但我知道如果我帮了，不但会暴露自己，还会永远毁掉我和我哥之间仅有的任何关系。要是昨天，我可能不太在乎这个，可知道安迪和我不那么不同之后，一切都变了。

安迪出了门。我听到他发动车开走了。“妈，我跑去齐克家一趟！”我喊道。

“厨房收拾干净了吗？”我妈回吼。

“收了！”

“行。别太晚回来，阿贝。”

“不会的！”

我关上门，奔向我的自行车。学校比斯坦福公园近多了，我拼命地骑，想尽快赶到。我在停车场看到安迪的车，但隔远就看出来里面是空的。他们会在哪儿？我扔掉自行车，跑向橄榄球场，那是我能想到的唯一的户外地点。靠近时我放慢脚步，心怦怦狂跳，努力倾听说话的声音。

我掏出手机，打给本纳，确定会听到他的手机在附近某处响起。结果，我听到本纳接了电话。“麦考尔，今晚是约会夜。你想干嘛？”背景里，我听到内奥米的声音：“嗨，阿贝！”

“抱歉，回头再聊，”我轻声说，然后挂了。克里斯跟内奥米在一起，所以绝不可能是他。没道理啊。安迪出来的时候，齐克跟我一起在隔间里，如果不是本纳设伏，去拍那个他以为刚给他口交的人，那还有谁……

马克利？他跟本纳一起进了厕所。那个在午餐时用故事引发这一切的人，会不会就是拍照片的人？

我打给比尔。电话直接转去了语音信箱。我叹了口气，又打给安迪，这是我剩下的唯一选择。他手机的铃声传入我耳中，从看台某处传来。铃声很快就被掐断了，我哥拒接了我的电话，但至少我知道他在哪儿了。

我悄悄移动，还是不确定自己到底该他妈干什么。我溜到看台下面，知道绝不可能爬上去而不暴露自己。当我靠近远端——刚才听到安迪手机的地方时，我听到了确切无疑的口交声。

透过看台的缝隙，我看到一双腿的后侧，有人坐在较低的看台上。附近一盏安全灯的光线刚好足够，让我看清有人跪在那双腿之间。

我来晚了。在一阵阵吸溜声中，我听到一声轻笑，然后一个声音说：“对，你喜欢这样，对不对？”

除了持续的口交声，没有回答。然后那声音又来了：“来，安迪，给我口的时候看着镜头。”

哦，操！之前我确定没有安迪吃鸡巴的真照片，但现在毫无疑问了。我的心沉了下去，但与此同时，我注意到那声音一点也不耳熟。

“来，安迪。照我说的做，不然我就把这段视频发给你弟弟。”

视频，更糟了！安迪肯定照做了，因为我又听到那声笑。“现在，告诉镜头你是什么东西，但别停，继续吸我。”

我听到我哥嘴里含着鸡巴，努力含糊说话的声音。“我是个吃鸡巴的。”接着是一阵大笑。

操。这让我愤怒，但同时却又让我兴奋起来。我他妈到底有什么毛病？我哥在被羞辱，可我的鸡巴却像有了自己的意识似的。我还是不太敢相信，在上面吃鸡巴的，是安迪，是我哥。

“哥们儿，有必要吗？”一个耳熟的声音说。他们有两个人？我看了看，看不到第二个人在哪里，但那声音听着像比尔。

“哦，对，绝对有必要。我认识这家伙，他吃不够的。他是斯坦福公园的常客，对吧，安迪？我就住街对面，我看你进进出出好多次了。回答我！”

“是，”安迪又含着鸡巴应了。

“好了，安迪小子，准备好吞下这泡。来了，”我听到一声标志性的呻吟。口交声持续了大概一分钟，然后停了。

“好了，够了，”第二个声音说。我看到一双脚从阴影中出现。我现在毫不怀疑，那是比尔，而他表哥瑞安刚才射在了我哥嘴里。

“我们才刚开始。轮到你了，哥们儿，”瑞安的双腿站起来，让到一边，让我更清楚地看到安迪跪在看台底部的平台上，就在我上方不远处。

“我不知道，瑞安。我不是同性恋，”马克利说。

“我也不是啊！但我们现在有个召之即来的吃鸡巴的，哥们儿。嗨起来，让他给你吸的时候，你抽一口，爽翻了。”

“你不必留着照片或视频，行了吧？我会给你们俩口交，随时都行。我保证。我喜欢吃鸡巴。你们不用靠威胁曝光我。”

“但这样更好玩啊。你要是不照我们说的做，到时候让阿贝发现他哥是……”停了停，然后我听到安迪紧绷的声音，又在含着鸡巴说自己是吃鸡巴的，这回被视频录了下来。

“去你妈的。要是我现在就把你们两个瘦猴揍得满地找牙，抢走你该死的手机呢？”

“我已经把所有东西备份到云上了，所以这对你一点用也没有。”

“我他妈真是恨透你们了，”安迪听起来想把对方宰了。

“说够了，安迪。轮到比尔了，”瑞安说。“让他见识见识他那天错过了什么。”

安静了片刻，然后我再次听到我哥吃鸡巴的声音。

“哦……哇……”比尔吸着气。大麻味钻进我的鼻孔，我知道我朋友采纳了他表哥的建议，一边让安迪给他口交，一边在抽大麻。

“太棒了，”比尔听起来完全陶醉了。亲身体验过安迪的口技，我太清楚他在经历什么了。

我的鸡巴硬得像石头，就为了几英尺之外发生的事，但与此同时，我想阻止他们这样对我哥。我只是不知道该怎么阻止。

比尔没撑多久。我没计时，但大概就几分钟，我就听到他哼出“我要射了！”这几个字。

过了一分钟，瑞安又开口了。

“干得好，吃鸡巴的！现在，我们中有谁叫你，你就得应。你要是敢对我们让你做的任何事说不，你知道后果是什么，”瑞安说。

“我先撤了，明天早上打给你，”这话肯定是对比尔说的。我听到脚步声走下楼梯，离开看台。我头顶上安静了几分钟，但我知道安迪和比尔还在那儿。终于，我朋友开口了。

“对不起，安迪。”比尔的话听起来很真诚。“我不是有意让这些事发生的。”

“你他妈在搞什么，比尔？”

“今天我和本纳在公园，本纳从厕所出来，说有个死基佬想给他口交。之前我也碰过一次那样的事，我还把整个经过都跟哥们儿讲了。瑞安过来找我们时，本纳跟他说了。我不知道瑞安后来就一直盯着厕所门，也不知道他拍下了你出来时候的照片。本纳走后他给我看，我就脱口而出‘那是安迪！’，然后事情就一发不可收拾了。”

“那可真他妈得谢谢你啊，比尔。”

“听着，我会拿到他的手机，把所有东西删掉，好吗？对不起。”

“如果全在云上，删了也没用。我完蛋了，现在只能当他的走狗了。”

“对不起！我会想办法让他全删掉。”

“我不抱希望。要是让阿贝知道——”

“我不会说的。而且——说真的，刚才真的很棒，安迪。谢谢你。那是我第一次被人吹。”

我忍住了笑。马克利去年可是对天发誓，说在一次地球科学课去州立森林实地考察时，琳达·亚当斯给他口交过。

“我就知道你跟傻逼贝一样，还是个处男，”安迪笑了。

“所以……你真在公园里吃鸡巴？我是说，我那天在那儿的时候，是你吗？”

“妈的，马克利，我不知道！都是匿名的。如果是昨天或今天，那有可能。再之前，我大概有一周没去过了。”

“那你做这事……呃……很久了吗？”比尔问。我真想亲他一口，他问出了那个问题。

“干嘛，你在写书吗？天哪，”安迪抢白道。

“抱歉，只是好奇。我是说，你一定很喜欢吃鸡巴，对吧？而且你口技确实很好。”

安迪的声音软了下来。“谢了。对，我是喜欢，行了吧？我喜欢鸡巴。我有个好朋友，我们大概从十二岁开始就一起瞎搞。大约两年前，他搬走了，我快疯了。他走后大概一个月，我就发现了这个公园，现在这儿就是我的老地方。”

安迪和怀亚特？！哇。这我可不知道。我是说，他们以前经常一起关在安迪房间里，怀亚特也常来过夜，但我总以为他们只是在打游戏。他们一直都明确表示，不欢迎我加入，所以在怀亚特搬走很早之前，我就不再尝试了。

“我得走了，”安迪说。我看到他站起来。

“安迪……如果你想的话……我是说，我是直男，但是……”

安迪笑了。“你表哥大概还是会逼我给你口交的。”

“不会的！我不会让他再那么做了。今晚的事我真的很抱歉。但如果你愿意，就只有你和我……我可以的。”

“再说吧，马克利。我走了。”

“好吧，回头见，安迪。”

我哥走开了。我坐在那儿，沉浸在刚才听到的一切中，而马克利在我上方的看台上，抽完了他那根大麻。

几分钟后，我悄悄沿原路退回，从看台下钻出来，回到空无一人的停车场。我的自行车被我扔在了那里。

我骑车回家，既为听到的事感到强烈的欲望，又为没能做点什么去阻止而满怀愧疚。

我把自行车收好，进了屋。跟爸妈说我回来了之后，我拖着沉重的步子上楼，进了自己的房间。看到书桌椅上坐着的安迪时，我猛停住脚。

“你在我房间干嘛？”

安迪只是默默盯着我，然后朝门口点了点头。“关上。”

我没多想就照他说的做了，然后背靠着关好的门，感到紧张。

“有人翻了我的短信，阿贝。最后一条在我看到之前，就被标成已读了。”

“你在说什么？”我的声音在我自己听来都不自然。

“我跟妈说话的时候你看短信了，是不是？”

“没有！”

“你看到我要去哪儿，就跟着我了。我走的时候看到你的自行车了，阿贝。你连藏都懒得藏。还有你打电话给我，就在我……你打了电话。为什么？”

我狠狠咽了口唾沫，走过去坐在我的床上。“我看到短信了。我想帮你。”

“你为什么打电话，阿贝？”

“我……我想找到你在哪儿。你的车是空的。”

“你找到我了吗？”

我抬起头，迎上我哥的目光。“找到了。”

安迪闭上眼睛，手指梳过头发。“你当时在哪儿？”

我盯着他，他睁开了眼。我垂下目光，看向地板。“看台底下。”

“操！你从头到尾都在？”

我点点头。“对不起！我本来想做点什么的，但不知道该怎么办。”

“我受不了！”安迪跳起来，冲向门口。

“我也是同性恋！”我脱口而出。安迪停住脚步，回头看我。

“什么？”

“我也是同性恋。”

安迪走回来坐下，盯着我看。“你是同性恋？”

“对。”

“你确定吗？我是说，你是个处男——”

“我才不是！”

安迪嗤了一声。“你做过什么爱？”

我脸红了，闭上嘴。安迪怀疑地看着我，然后他的表情变了。“等等。比尔说他这周跟你们讲了寻欢洞的事。你是不是……你去过……”

我不敢看他的眼，但他从我脸上读出答案了。

“你什么时候去的，阿贝？”

我没回应，但心在狂跳。

“阿贝，你今天还是昨天去的？告诉我！”安迪抓住我的肩膀，晃了晃我。

“都去了！”我脱口而出。

“你……你做了什么事？”

“昨天我给一个慢跑者口了出来。然后今天，有个男人把屁股从隔板下捅过来，我操了他，”我小声说。我可以把真相剪裁掉，把安迪和齐克的事省去。

“天哪，傻逼贝！”安迪看起来很震惊，但也松了口气。那两次经历显然都不关他的事。

我们沉默了一会儿，然后安迪轻轻笑了。“所以，我们俩都是完完全全的死基佬。爸妈会乐疯的。听着，你得小心。看看我今晚出了什么事。太危险了。你得离那个公园远点。”

“你自己会远离吗？”我挑战他。

“我不知道，阿贝，但这正是另一个你他妈得离远点的理由。如果我们俩都开始往那儿跑，早晚寻欢洞那头的鸡巴会是你亲哥的！我可不想冒这个风险，你呢？”

操，我太想了。说我有病好了，但我想再次得到安迪的嘴和他的鸡巴。“也许我们可以……排个表？我知道了就停不下来了，”我笑了笑。

安迪笑了。“你比我曾经猜的要更像我自己，傻逼贝。天哪，真他妈是个鸡飞狗跳的夜晚。我得消化消化这一切。晚安。”

“安，安迪。”

我哥走出去，带上了我身后的门。我仰面倒在床上，头天旋地转。从我听说斯坦福公园寻欢洞到现在，甚至还没满 36 个小时，而它已经改变了我整个人生。